¡Rábanos Radiactivos!
Written by Fred Patten, and intended for Apa L, 2190th Distribution, LASFS Meeting No. 3638, May 3, 2007.
Golden State Colonial Convalescent Hospital, 10830 Oxnard Street, North Hollywood, California 91606-5098.
Telephone: hospital(818) 763-8247; personal (818) 506-3159 * eMail:fredpatten@earthlink.net
Nippon 2007 in 2007! Denvention 3 in 2008! Salamander Press #2673


Last Thursday Michael Burlake brought me to the LASFS meeting. Ken Pick had asked me to help him get some notable s-f authors who would be willing to write a cover blurb for Infinite Space, Infinite God, the anthology in which he has a story. I asked Jerry Pournelle, who agreed to the extent of asking to see an advance copy of the book so he could tell whether he could honestly endorse it or not. An excellent cake was provided, for the occasion of Joe Zeff's sister's birthday, if I understood correctly. The program was a video presentation by Bridget Landry on her day-job assignment at JPL, the Cassiini-Huygens mission to Saturn and Titan. I was seated on (or sunken into) the comfortable couch at the back of the room so I could not see the presentation, but Landry's commentary was very fascinating. I am delighted that the LASFS has resumed holding the programs as part of the meetings, rather than after the meetings are adjourned.

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I recently referred to needing to do research in old Apa L dist'ns from 1987 and 1992. This was regarding a request to submit "reminiscences of Ralph Bakshi" for a book about him to be published next year. "Jon Gibson (of I Am 8-Bit fame) and Chris McDonnell (of Meathaus fame) have begun working on a bio/art coffeetable book about animation legend Ralph Bakshi. The book is slated for July 2008 release by Rizzoli NYC. Most importantly, Ralph Bakshi himself, currently 68 years old, is 100% on board with the project. Bakshi is allowing full access to his archives and granting these guys the opportunity to write an unbiased tome about his life and career. [...] We'd absolutely LOVE to hear from all those that have worked with Bakshi, have some Bakshi-relevant artwork to share, or just have some tales (because, as we've learned over the last year of getting this book going, pretty much everyone knows a least one Bakshi yarn, whether they've met him or not). Seriously, no matter how insignificant someone may think the story is-or if it's only one drawing-we want it!"

Here is what I sent in for the 1992 incident, after refreshing my memory with my comments in Apa L at the time:

"Around May 1992, Paramount held a publicity tour of the animation studio it had set up in Hollywood to produce Ralph's Cool World, which was just finishing up for the movie's release in July. There were about ten people in the tour; I was there covering it for Amazing Heroes magazine (which announced its cancellation a week after the tour; my preview of Cool World appeared in its final issue, #203/July 1992).

A Paramount flack took us among all the animators busy at their light tables, cameras, etc. The tour ended with Ralph coming out and telling us how enthusiastic he was about Cool World. It was a different kind of animated feature meant for adults rather than kids, it gave its writers the chance to explore more mature fantasy themes, and so on. He finished by asking if we had any questions. One man promptly asked what the estimated value of all the cels made for the movie was. Ralph said something about nobody trying to figure that out, and tried to get the subject back to Cool World's unique story and hoped-for box office appeal. But this man kept asking such questions as how many complete cel setups had been generated as distinct from stand-alone cels, and whether it was planned to sell the cels through a single art gallery or wholesale to whatever galleries wanted to buy them. Although he did not say so flat-out, his attitude practically accused Paramount & Ralph of making Cool World less for artistic reasons than to produce thousands of cels just for sale to the collectibles market. Ralph was visibly having a harder and harder time keeping his temper during this, and he abruptly said that if NOBODY ELSE had any questions, the tour was at an end."

End of anecdote. What I did not say, but what all the book's readers are sure to think of on their own, is that this anonymous man turned out to be pretty much right. Cool World was a horrible film which disappeared from theaters in less than a month, and its box-office was probably less than what could have been made by selling its production cels through art galleries - a practice that no longer exists since all animated films today, 2D or CGI, are produced within computers.

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Anthro #11, May-June 2007, should be online by today. Read it for my latest furry book reviews, plus reprints of my reviews in Yarf! of anthropomorphic s-f & fantasy of the mid-1990s. This issue should also begin the arrangement of all my reviews of anthropomorphic books in Yarf!, Anthro, and other magazines from the early 1990s to the present in what is intended to be an extensive annotated anthropomorphic bibliography of hundreds of books.

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-- Comments on Last Week's Distribution:

De Jueves #1528 - (Moffatt) Nobody at the hospital checks me for pressure sores immediately after my return from LASFS meetings, and sometimes they don't examine me until Saturday. By then, if my sores are getting worse instead of better, nobody has any way to tell whether there is one specific cause or not. Sitting in my wheelchair for four hours waiting for the hospital's barber to cut my hair surely cannot help.

Oh, All Right!!! - (Lembke) Was there ever an Apa E? You mean Apa F, for Fanoclasts. It ceased after 69 issues, presumably in 1964 or '65. ## Regarding impeaching squirrels, there was a bit of excitement here a couple of weeks ago. I have reported watching a squirrel run across the rooftop just outside my window. A couple of weeks ago, the squirrel dashed across the roof barely ahead of a hawk swooping after it. The squirrel has appeared since, so the hawk missed.

Apa-L Follies - (Cantor) I joined the LASFS in 1960, so to me the club's early days are pretty much everything before that date. It is depressing to realize that I have been in the club for well over half its existence, and that my first dozen-plus years are considered part of the club's early days by newer members. If the club ever tried to set an official definition of what its "early days" were, what time-span would be decided upon? 1934 through the transition of the LASFL into the independent LASFS in 1940? 1934 through Pacificon I in 1946? 1934 through the almost-demise of the club around 1957 before Bĵo then-Wells led its revival? 1934 until Forry Ackerman stopped attending regularly around 1962 or '63?

Vanamonde #728 - (Hertz) Maybe Infinite Space, Infinite God uses "infinite" in the same way the Catholic Church uses "catholic". I have not read the anthology yet, just Ken Pick's individual story which is more-or-less a standard furry story with a human Catholic priest in the background "gathering information" to help the Vatican make an official decision as to whether bioengineered intelligent animals have souls or not .

Godzilla Verses # 137 -- (DeChancie) I was also taught the VIBGYOR abbreviation for the seven colors of the spectrum. But I have noticed that recent descriptions of the spectrum tend to mention six colors only. Indigo seems to no longer be considered a main color. ## Dogs (and other animals) having Smellavision is the biggest unaddressed flaw with the Kevin & Kell premise, in my opinion. Animals constantly disguise themselves visually as other species, and their scents never give them away. In the current Alpha Luna, the Werewolf Girl Internet comic strip by Leonardo Vidal F. (posted weekly from Chile), a new werewolf comments, "Everything is so SMELLY." I commented previously about how scent is a major factor (along with graphic interspecies homosexual eroticism) in the furry civilization stories of Kyell Gold, and a key clue in the murder mystery in Pendant of Fortune, an Ursa Major finalist for 2006 Best Novel. ## Is there any chance that you could get us a screening of Dreams With Sharp Teeth at the LASFS, maybe along with DVDs for sale? If it is not out by the Loscon in November, could it be shown there?

Toony Loons #39 - (Zeff) A detail that I noted during my visit with Bĵo Trimble to her hummingbird-enslaved friend was that the hummingbird darted right between us as we talked and hovered right in her face. The bird was not confused for a second between the three of us; it knew who was responsible for keeping its feeder filled. ## I remember that my mother insisted on gold-headed sewing needles for the best quality; but I never knew that it was an industry-wide standard rather than one high-quality brand's trademark. ## Sometimes you may want to deliberately look immature, as when C. M. Kornbluth satirized Mickey Mouse as Poopy Panda.

I Whisked Nergal's Negus - (Gold) I assume that the hospital has me sign the statement each week so if I do get new pressure sores, it can claim that they are my fault for going out against the hospital's recommendation that I stay in. The fact that I often sit in my wheelchair for three or four hours at a time in the hospital is, of course, completely irrelevant. When my sister Sherrill tried to help me stand about a week ago, she was immediately descended upon and told that she could not do that because only licensed therapists and their authorized assistants are allowed to do so; which explains why the hospital's ordinary nurses are not allowed to help me stand. ## Ken Pick seems to consider his sale of "Mask of the Ferret" to Twilight Times Books for Infinite Space, Infinite God as his first professional sale, at least in terms of finally breaking into the professional literary community after years of writing stories for free fanzine publication, and hopefully making more sales to "real publishers". Maybe he forgot about you paying him for his art for your role-playing game in 1980 since it did not lead to any more professional art sales. Or maybe he considered it as a fannish project despite getting paid for it. ## I believe that Sherry gave my 2005 desktop computer to George Van Wagner as payment for helping us, after he transferred all its files onto my new MacBook Pro laptop. George is supposed to come and back up my new files soon, and show Sherry how to transfer them to my other desktop computer at her apartment. ## I get semiannual royalties, not biannual royalties. ## Regarding Chinese villains and cheap detective stories, I recently tried to read a new collection of stories featuring Erle Stanley Gardner's pre-Perry Mason detective, Sidney Zoom. (The Casebook of Sidney Zoom, 2006.) I could only stand two of the early 1930s stories from Detective Fiction Weekly with titles like "My Name is Zoom!", "Borrowed Bullets", and "Cheating the Chair". It was my own fault, because I had already experienced Gardner's pulp writing in Sam Moskowitz's collection of his "lost" science-fiction stories, full of mad scientists with beautiful daughters who need to be rescued from his dangerous experiments (or from ooga-booga cannibals) by daring young newspaper reporters. Some of Gardner's other pre-Mason crimefighters were Key-Clew Clark, Go Get 'Em Garver, Ed Migraine the Headache Detective, Fish Mouth McGinnis, and Speed Dash the Human Fly. Anyhow, some of Gardner's stories have titles like "Fingers of Fong", "A Chinaman's Chance", "The Joss of Tai Wong" and "Teeth of the Dragon", which make me suspect stereotypical Chinese villains - not that I intend to read them to find out.

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