The Funniest Computer Songs

If you work with computers, you know high tech isn't just a job - it's a way of life!

Celebrate the good along with the bad.  Join us in 12 songs about the most delightful, most useful, most exasperating invention ever to put out output.

SIDE 0

HAL's Song - Vinnie Bartilluci:  The most famous computer of all time is Hal 9000. But what if 2001: A Space Odyssey had been a musical comedy?  HAL might have sounded something like this... V. Bartilucci/Trad.; Firebird Arts & Music, BMI. (2:38)

Please, Mr. Compatibility - Tom Payne:
Mr. Payne is a technowhiz - a high tech troubleshooter.  Some horror stories in this song are actual requests he's received! Frank Hayes, guitar. T. Payne; Firebird Arts and Music, BMI. (3:11)

I Built A Better Model Than The One AT Data General - Tom Payne:  It sounds like Gilbert & Sullivan's "Modern Major General" - But the words are not what you'd expect!  George Mitchell, Keyboard.  Chorus:  Heather Alexander, Larry Warner.  Steven J. Levine/Sir Arthur Sullivan; Vince Emery Productions, BMU. (3:12)

Stuck Here - Frank Hayes: Artificial intelligence (gasp!) Expert systems (wow!)  The big challenge for programmers is cramming a human's know-how into a computer.  Here's a hilarious possible result, sung by Frank Hayes, the poor man's Time Lehrer.  I don't mean Hayes is inferior to Lehrer; he just doesn't get paid as much.  S. Savitzky; Firebird Arts & Music, BMI. (2:03)

Threes - Frank Hayes:  "Bad News," they say, "comes in threes."  Have you ever been in a dog and pony show?  Then you know any client presentation can (and usually does) generate more than three chunks of bad news!  Ace reporter for a top computer magazine, Frank Hayes rarely records anymore.  We're luck to have him sing 3 songs on this album.  Leslie Fish, guitar.  Duane Elms/Leslie Fish; Firebird Arts & Music, BMI (3:50)

S-100 Bus - Frank Hayes: When the S-100 Bus was first announced, the experts proclaimed it a computer standard for all time.  Boy. Were they wrong!  These days, someone announces a new standard of standardness every week.  Now, S-100 is a mostly musical memory.  Ernie Mansfield penny whistle & bass.  Leslie Fish, guitar. Larry Warner, chorus. F. Hayes; Firebird Arts & Music, BMI. (2:26)

SIDE 1

I'm A Mainframe, Baby - Bob Franke (pronounced "Frankie"): If a computer sang traditional blues, here's what it would sing.  Franke is a Boston-based singer/songwriter of folk and blues.  4 albums, Prairie Home Companion show, concerts, tours, awards - this guy's done it all.  B. Franke;  Telephone Pole Music, BMI (2:47)

Uncle Ernie's Used Computers' Babbage's Birthday Bargain Bash - Steve Savitzsky:  This singing commercial hilariously lampoons sleazy computer store ads.  Mr. Savitzky is the only performer on this album who actually works in Silicon Valley (or Silly Valley, as locals call it). S. Savitzsky; Hyperspace Express, BMI. (1:44)

Mushrooms - Steve Savitzky:  If you ever worked for an awful boss, this song's for you! NOT SUITABLE FOR RADIO AIRPLAY.  S. Savitzky; Hyperspace Express, BMI. (2:53)

Engineer's Rap - Hard Drive: "Who you callin' bit-head?"  Under the name "Run GMC" (its members work for GM's Hughes subsidiary), Hard Drive won The Gong Show twice with this song.  Featuring Nick Hrobak, Rick Katz, Joe Powe and Steve Tarnowsky.  Mark Wolinsky, keyboards.  Joe Boney, bass.  Produced by Chick Cirino. Tarnowsky/Hrobak/Katz/Powe; Arrenbee Music, BMI. (5:06)

Killer-Byte Blues - Orrin Star:  "Computer ling meets blues music" is how Mr. Star describes the day his daisy wheel got weeds.  A songwriter. Singer, comedian and the First Place Winner of the national Flat-picking Championship, Mr. Star has recorded 3 albums and performed on the Prairie Home Companion show.  His dry wit and dazzling instrumental skills delight audiences throughout the U.S. and Europe.  This song is from his album "Fun Songs & Fancy Pickin'" on Flying Fish Records.  Mike Turk, harmonica.  Seth Pappas, drums.  Russell Keyes, bass.  O.Star; Good Ear Music, BMI. (2:56)

Do It Yourself (You Can Build A Mainframe From The Things You Have At Home) - Bill Sutton: Who needs big computer companies?  You can turn your unwanted discards into a powerful computer - and clean out your attic at the same time! B. Sutton; DAG Productions, BMI (3:34)

Cover Photo, "God Doesn't Use a Computer," 1986 by Joe Mineau.


Remastering Engineer: Teri Lee.  Thanks to Mike Agranoff and Dr. Demento.  For my techno brother Kevin.  1989 Vince Emery.  All rights to individual selections are reserved.  Unauthorized duplication is a violation of applicable laws. (You don't expect to violate unapplicable laws, do you?)  You should feel ashamed copying tapes without paying.  I use that money to make new albums for you.  Besides, what would your mother say?  Printed in the USA. All applicable company, products and/or service names used on this album are trademarks or service marks of their owners, and no endorsement is implied by their use.  So there.