Children's Songs Part Two

Hangman
Contributed by Chuck Wilson Hangman, hangman, slack your rope. Hangman, hangman, slack your rope. Slack it before its to la.............hhh Illinois, 1959

Hanna The Delta Gamma

From Cally Soukup's mother (who was a Pi Phi) Oh, oh, oh, Hannah My Delta Gamma She's got legs like a baby grand piana. She ain't so nifty. She weighs 250. But fat girls now and then are cherished by the best of men. There was also: Not so far from Pi Phi's portals Live those awful wrecks. Thirty dirty damned Tri Deltas Gendered but unsexed. Back in the 40s this must have been terribly shocking! <grin> And she used to complain if I swore...

Harry Cemetary
-collected by Laura Ross Hello everybody This is Harry Cemetary If you're good you go to heaven If you're bad you go to -- (repeat indefinitely)

Have A Tequila

collected by Lynn Gold Have a tequila (3x) They're good for you Have a tequila (3x) They're good for you Have one, and run, run now (3x) To the liquor store! Have one, and run, run now (3x) To the liquor store! And...then...when you get there If you're feeling very frisky Go inside and buy some whisky Go outside and try to piss-ky If you're drunk, you'll likely miss-ky Then you stop...at the top.... And do it one more time again.... [old Hebrew school kids' lyrics]

Here We Sit

(a takeoff on "Birds in the Wilderness", Tune: "The Old Grey Mare") Collected by Karen Davis Here we sit like flies on the garbage can, Flies on the garbage can, Flies on the garbage can. Here we sit like flies on the garbage can, Waiting to be fed. Waiting to be fed, waiting to be fed. Here we sit like flies on the garbage can, Waiting to be fed. sung at church camp. Replace the line "files on the garbage can" with "birds in the wilderness" for the original this parodies.

Hey Dude
Contributed by Mr-U tune "Hey Jude" by the Beatles Hey dude, I saw you nude, Don't try to fake it, I saw you na-ked.

Hickory Dickery
From Darrel Exline Hickory Dickery Doc, Two mice ran up the clock. The clock struck one, And the other got away with minor injuries. (That last line being read with a straight face as you drop out of rhyme.)

Hi Ho, Hi Ho

From Joe Raftery Hi Ho, Hi Ho it's home from work we go with a bucket and spade and marmalade Hi ho Hi ho hi ho hi ho From Peter Mork Hi ho, hi ho It's off to the burlesque show I paid two bits to see two tits Hi ho, hi ho hi ho Hi ho, hi ho It's off to the burlesque show I sat up front... (you can fill in the rest. Very, very naughty.) Massachusetts, 1960s From DeAnna Smith Hi-Ho Hi-ho it's off to school we go with hand grenades and razor blades hi-ho hi-ho hi-ho hi-ho Indianapolis, IN 1990s From David Paktor Hi Ho, Hi Ho It's off to school we go With a broken back and a heart attack, Hi ho Hi ho hi ho hi ho Summer day camp, Essex County New Jersey, late 1950s

Hooray! Hooray!
-collected by Robert Carr Hooray, hooray. the first of May, Outdoor necking begins today. Berkley, CA early 1950s

How Dry I Am

-collected by Laura Ross Tune: "How Dry I Am" How dry I am How wet I'll be If I don't find The bathroom key I found the key Now where's the door? It's too late now It's on the floor Around here the second verse was: I found the key I opened the door It's too late now Clean up the floor. Contributed by Robert Goodwin How dry I am How wet I'll be If I can't find My zipper pull I found the pull Now where's the string? It's too late now 911 I rang I found the pull I pulled the string It's too late now The doorbell will ring. (or "the police broke in") No idea when or where, but internal evidence suggests within the last ten years.

I Am An Anglican
-collected by Joe Bethancourt Tune: "God Bless America" (We sang this one at Church camp) I am an Anglican, I am P.E. (Protestant Episcopal) I'm not High Church, nor Low Church, But I'm Protestant, and Catholic and free! Not a Presby, not a Luth'ran Not a Baptist, white with foam! I am an Anglican, Just one step from Rome! I am an Anglican, Just one step from Rome!

I Fled A Legion...
Variant pledge of allegance as contributed by Leslie Fish (remembered from her jr high days) I fled a legion to the bag Of the few nutty snakes of Pam Erica. Into the creek, ugly old witches' hands Run naked, under fog, invisible. With liver, see injustice for all.

If You Didn't Have Rain

contributed by Cristina Trotochaud I suspect this one of being a ringer - at least I've found the title attributed to a songbook entitled "Celebrate in Song", though I've not seen a copy of it to check. And that little "Cool Water" reference in the later part sounds like an adult to me. But you never know. Here's one verse - if someone has the rest of the song or knows where it came from please let me know, and I'll pass it along to Cristina, who's looking for it. And by the time someone wrote me, I'd lost her address... anyway I'm told this is from a 1956 film called "A Cry From The Streets", by Max Bygraves. My thanks to Harry Ganz. If you didn't have rain then you couldn't have showers; If you didn't have showers then you couldn't have flowers. There'd be no place to swim, There'd be no babbling brook, There'd be no fish to catch at the end of a hook. You'd be so awfully dirty, You'd be as black as ink, All day you'd face the barren waste- Looking for a nice cool drink. So you've gotta have rain every now and then To make the whole world shine, Then everyday will turn out fine.

I Know A Song

Contributed by Aaron Davies I know a song that aggravates people Aggravates people Aggravates people I know a song that aggravates people And it goes something like this (repeat) From Joe Raftery as sung in Dublin, (Ireland) late 60's I know a song that gets on everybody's nerves I know a song that gets on everybody's nerves I know a song that gets on everybody's nerves and this is how it goes (repeat until you get on everybody's nerves)

In the Quartermaster's Store

contributed by Tim Lupton I think, but the header's missing from the file. I suspect this one of being an army retread, but the Scouts have made it their own... There was Matt, Matt, filling up a sack, In the stores, in the stores. There were Matt, Matt, filling up a sack, In the quartermaster's stores. My eyes are dim, I cannot see, I have not got my specs with me, I have not got my specs with me. There were rats, rats, big as blooming cats, Mice . . . running through the rice. Snakes . . . as big as garden rakes. Beans . . . as big as submarines. Gravy . . . enough to float the navy. Cakes . . . that give us tummy aches. Eggs . . . with scaly chicken legs. Butter . . . running in the gutter. Lard . . . they sell it by the yard. Bread . . . with great big lumps like lead. Cheese . . . that makes you want to sneeze. Soot . . . they grow it by the foot. Goats . . . eating all the oats Bees . . . with little knobby knees. Owls . . . shredding paper towels. Apes . . . eating all the grapes. Turtles . . . wearing rubber girdles. Bear . . . with curlers in its hair. Buffalos . . . with hair between their toes. Foxes . . . stuffed in little boxes. Coke . . . enough to make you choke. Pepsi . . . that gives you apoplexy. Flies . . . swarming 'round the pies. Fishes . . . sitting in the dishes. Moths . . . eating through the cloths Scouts . . . eating brussel sprouts.

It's Raining, It's Pouring
From DeAnna Smith its raining its pouring the old man is snoring he went to bed and hit his head and didnt wake up 'till the morning Indianapolis, IN 1990s From Kay Shapero Around here the last two lines were: He went to bed and bumped his head And couldn't get up in the morning. Los Angeles, CA 1950s

I Use Rhythm
-collected by Ken Ryesky Tune: "I Got Rhythm" by George Gershwin This one came about during the time of Vatican II (1962 - 1965). We thought it was funny, but it would have been REALLY hilarious if we had actually known its implications. --Ken I use rhythm, I use rhythm, I got twelve kids Who could ask for anything more? Montgomery County, Philadelphia

I Woke Up Sunday Morning

-collected by George.Tjilos I woke up sunday morning I looked upon the wall The skeeters and the bedballs They were playing a game of ball The score was 6 to nothing The skeeters were ahead The bedballs hit a home run And knoked me out of bed. I sing ini mini and a mini moe catch a tiger tiger by his toe and if he .... (rest forgotten) by Kay Shapero I remember this one as: I woke up Sunday morning And there upon the wall The beetles and the bedbugs Were having a game of ball The score was six to nothing The beetles were ahead The bedbugs hit a home run And knocked me out of bed, bed bed. And knocked me out of bed! From Paul Kyle I woke up Sunday Morning I looked up on the wall The beetles and the bedbugs were playing a game of ball The score was 6 to nothing The beetles were ahead The bedbugs hit a home run and knocked me out of bed I'm singin', Eenie-Meenie and uh, Minie-Moe Catch a tigger tiger, by his toe If he hollers hollers, let him go I'm singin', Eenie-Meenie and uh, Minie-Moe I went downstairs for breakfast I ordered ham and eggs I ate so many eggs the ham rolled down my legs. I'm singin', Eenie-Meenie and a, Minie-Moe Catch a tigger-tiger, by his toe If he hollers-hollers, let him go I'm singin', Eenie-Meenie and a, Minie-Moe. My father is a baker my mother is a spy and if you don't believe me go ask the FBI From Darlene Du Bois I woke up Sunday morning And looked upon the wall The beetles and the bedbugs were playing a game of ball The score was sixth to nothing The beetles were ahead The beetles hit a homerun And knocked me out of bed I'm singin' eeny meeny and a miney mo mo mo mo Catch a whipperwhopper by the toe And if he hollers, hollers, hollers Let him go I'm singin' eeny meeny and a miney mo From Malissa Ackerman Also, we sang "I woke up Sunday Morning" a bit differently. They were cooties and bedbugs not skeeters and bedballs. Score was 9-0. And the last verse was Singing eenie, meenie, meenie, minee, mo (that's mm-long i-knee) Catch a whipper-whopper by his toe (sometimes tiger, tiger) And if he holler, holler, hollers, let him go Singing eenie, meenie, meenie, minee, mo. The coffee's (something, something), (oops, thought I knew it) The bread is old and stale, That's the way you're treated at (insert place name) County Jail. We sometimes started it with the verse Standing on the corner, not doin' any harm, Along came a policeman and took me by the arm. He took me 'round the corner and rang a little bell, Along came a police car and took me to my cell. Which makes the jail part more sensible, I guess. Mostly central Ohio, early to mid '80s From Ron McKenzie Oh, I woke up in the morning And looked upon the wall The cooties and the bedbugs Were having a game of ball The score was six to nothing The cooties were ahead I got so darned excited I fell right out of bed! circa 1940s - early 1950s Norfolk Nebraska From RavenRayne I Woke Up Monday Morning And on the Wall I saw The Cooties and the bedbugs Playin a game of ball The score was 6 to nothing the Cooties were ahead The Bedbugs hit a homerun and Knocked me out of bed (chorus) singing eeney meany meany miney mo catch a whippersnapper by his toe and if he hollers hollers hollers let him go singing eeney meany meany miney mo I went downstairs to breakfast My coffee black as ink My sausage did a flip flop and landed in the sink (chorus) I fell into a sewer and that is how I died they didn't call it murder they called it SEWER-cide (From Indiana) From Kay Shapero The following variant of the above was chanted (not sung) locally By the sewer she lived By the sewer she died They said it was murder But it was SEWER-cide... From Samantha Maynard When I was in Little League in Central Indiana (late 80s - mid 90s), we had additional lyrics we would sing when riding in the back of pickup trucks to the local ice cream store (a tradition for the winning team). The chorus is identical to this one posted: singing eeney meany meany miney mo catch a whippersnapper by his toe and if he hollers hollers hollers let him go singing eeney meany meany miney mo Our verses were: I woke up Sunday morning And this is what I saw The cooties and the bedbugs Were having a game of ball. The score was six to nothing The cooties were ahead The bedbugs hit a home rum And won the game instead (clearly, thinking about it now, not possible) I went downstairs for breakfast My coffee black as ink My sausage did a flipflop And landed in the sink My mother sent me shopping To get a loaf of bread And then I saw my boyfriend And went with him instead I fell into a sewer And that is how I died They didn't call it murder They called it SEWER-CIDE!

If All The Rain Drops
From DeAnna Smith If all the rain drops were lemon drops and gum drops oh what a rain that would be, standing out side with my mouth open wide, ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah! Indianapolis, IN, 1990s

I've Been Working On My Homework
From Aaron Davie ttto "I've Been Working On The Railroad" I've been working on my homework All the live-long day I've been working on my homework Just to pass the time away Can't you hear the teacher shouting "Kids, do your work!" Can't you hear the kids whispering "Teacher is a jerk!"

James Brown
From DeAnna Smith I went down town to see james brown he gave me a nickle to buy me a pickle the pickle's too sweet I want a piece of meat the meat's too tough I wanna ride the bus the bus is too full I wanna ride the bull the bull's too black I want my money back black jack! Indianapolis, IN 1990s

Jimmy Carter
From Kreme Oh my President has a first name it's j-i-m-m-y oh my President has a second name it's c-a-r-t-e-r I like to ???? everyday and if you ask me why I'll say 'cuz jimmy carter has a way of ****** up the USA R-o-n-n-y R-e-a-g-e-n

Jingle Bells Varients

from Bruce Holloway (To the tune of Jingle Bells) Jingle Bells, Santa smells, Happy Hallowe'en, Oh what fun it is to ride in a yellow submarine... From Bruce Tomlin Jingle Bells, Batman smells Robin laid an egg Batmobile lost a wheel And batgirl lost her shoo-oo From Randall Stukey The way I learned this one, the last line was And commissoner's layin' in haa-ay. We repeated it four times, increasing the number of lost wheels by one with each verse. From Kreme Jingle Bells Batman Smells Robin laid an egg Batmobile lost its wheel AND JOKER GOT AWAY -- Hey! (repeat until parent's threaten you with bodily harm :-) From Abigail White Jingle bells, Shotgun shells Granny had a gun Shot me in my underpants and boy i had to run! Jingle Bells, Batman smells Robin laid an egg, Batmoblie lost a wheel and Joker took Ballet. From Joe Raftery as sung in Dublin, (Ireland) mid 60's Jingle Bells, Batman smells Robin laid an egg, The Batmobile has lost a wheel and the Joker laughs all day From Marisa "Mayonnaise" Jane G. Jingle Bells, Batman Smells, Robin Laid an Egg, Batmobile Lost a wheel, And the Joker got away! (or took Ballet, take your pick.) (To the Tune of the “Dashing through the Snow” part…) Batman’s in the Kitchen, Robin’s in the Hall, Joker’s in the Bathroom, Peeing on the Wall! Upstate NY, in the Early 90’s. From Kay Shapero "Jingle Bells, Shotgun Shells Santa Claus is dead Rudolph took a 45 And shot him in the head!" From Margaret Middleton Jingle bells, shotgun shells, rabbits all the way; Oh, what fun it is to ride in grampa's Model A! From Peter Mork Jingle bells, jingle bells Jingle all the way Oh what fun it is to ride in a smashed-up Chevrolet Jingle bells, snail shells BBs in the air Oh what fun it is to ride, and Santa's underwear Massachusetts, 1960s From Andrea Huckstep Jingle bells, Andross smells, Falco laid an egg, oh what fun it is to sing in a damaged (or Fox's) Arwi-ing! Jingle bells, Bowser smells, Yoshi (or Birdo) laid an egg, Clown mobile lost a wheel and Mario got away, hey!

Jose, Can You See?

-collected by Joe Bethancourt Tune: The National Anthem of the USA Jose (Ho-say), can you see any bedbugs on me? If you do, pick a few, 'cause I got 'em from you! From Kay Shapero Variant last verse - "Yes I do, quite a few, and they look just like you!" From Mitch Marmel Oh say can you see Any bedbugs on me? If you do, pick a few, And we'll have bedbug stew-ew. Oh say can you see Any leeches on me? If you do, pick a few, And we'll serve them up too-oo. With a cockroach deee-sert And spider's brain tea It's a meal for a ghoul And I'm sure you'll agree Oh say can you see Any wor-or-orms on me-ee? If you do...Pick a few... And we'll have...SPAGHETTI! from Eugene Marksworth Oh say can you see, any bedbugs on me? If you do, take a few, then I won't have quite so many. Who is making these cars? They're just falling apart! Oh, my TIIII-re is flat, I think I got it from K-Mart. Somebody call the Cops! I'm be'ing attacked by guys wi'mops! And my bus driver knows, Everywhere he's gotta stop! Oh, why can't this stupid l'il BALL-Game ever start? 'Cause I am getting bored! And I'm afraid that I will faaaart!

Joy To The World

-collected by Laura Ross Tune: "Joy To The World" Joy to the world The teacher's dead We cut off her head What happened to her body? We flushed it down the potty And 'round and 'round it goes And 'round and 'round it goes And 'rou-ound and 'rou-ound and 'round it goes Marisa "Mayonaise" Jane G. comments " when I was in school, during the era of Presidant Bush Sr, we substituted "The teacher" with "Saddam" and changed all the female pronouns to male pronouns." from Kit Peters Sang "Joy to the world," substituting "we barbecued her head" for "we cut off her head" Central Illinois, 1980 (And here's a modern mutation my daughter brought home from Boys and Girls club a few years ago... Mind you, this is the kid who used HER Barbie dolls for waterballoon target practice.) Kay from Vicky Shapero Joy to the world Barbie's dead We Barbie-cued her head What happened to her body? We flushed it down the potty And 'round and 'round it went And 'round and 'round it went And 'rou-ound and 'rou-ound and 'round it went What happened to her hair? We put it in a chair What happened to her butt? We gave it to Pizza Hut. From Julie Hamner Joy to the world, The school burned down! And all the teachers, too! Where is the Principal? He's hanging from the flagpole, With a rope around his neck, With a rope around his neck, Joy to the world, The school burned down! And all the teachers, too! Where is the Principal? He's hanging from the flagpole, With a rope around his neck, With a rope around his neck, With a rope, a rope, around his neck. With a rope, a rope, around his neck.

Jump-Rope Rhymes
From J. M. A. Guthrie Not last night But the night before 24 robbers came knockin' at my door As I went out They went in And this is how it all began Little orphan Annie, one foot, one foot Little orphan Annie, two feet, two feet Little orphan Annie, three feet, three feet Little orphan Annie, get out of town! Tom, Dick and Harry Who shall I marry? Rich man, poor man, beggar man, thief Doctor, lawyer, Indian chief. What kind of wedding shall I have Churchyard, courthouse, shotgun, none What kind of house will I have Palace, house, pigpen, barn (and other questions I forget, each time repeating the last part until the jumper misses)
Cinderella
From Kay Shapero Cinderella Dressed in yella Ran upstairs to kiss a fella How many kisses did he get? 1, 2, 3 (count until the jumper misses) Los Angeles, 1950s From DeAnna Smith Cinderella dressed in yellow went upstairs to kiss her fella made a mistake kissed a snake how many doctors does it take? ( from here you would count how many time they jumped the rope and thats how many doctors it took to cure her) Indianapolis, IN, 1990s

Leprosy

From José Johnson (Sung to the melody from "Yesterday" by The Beatles) Leprosy All my skin is falling off of me I'm not half the man I used to be Oh I believe in Leprosy South Texas, circa 1979 From Robert Carr (sung to the tune of "Jealousy" (by Frankie Laine?)) Leprosy, my God I've got leprosy There goes my eyeball--right into your highball Leprosy, my God I've got leprosy There goes my fingernail--right into your ginger ale. Chicago, around 1943

Last Night (as I lay on my pillow)
-Contributed by Monique MacNaughton Tune: My Bonnie Lies Over the Ocean Last night as I lay on my pillow, Last night as I lay on my bed, I stuck my big feet out the window, Next morning my neighbors were DEAD!

Marijuana Song

Contributed by Joey McKangaroo Tune: Frere Jacques: Marijuana, Marijuana, L-S-D, L-S-D, College Kids'r makin' it, High School Kids'r takin' it, Why can't we? Why can't we? From Alan Thiesen Marijuana, marijuana LSD LSD Richard Nixon makes it Hubert Humphrey takes it Why can't we? Why can't we? late '60s From Tim Lupton (I think) Marijuana, marijuana, L. S. D., L.S.D, Scientists make it, All the teachers take it, Why can't we? Why can't we? Toronto, Ontario in 1966

Michael Finnigan

Contributed by Aaron Davies There was an old man named Michael Finnigan He had whiskers on his chin-again They fell out and then grew in again Poor old Michael Finnigan, begin again There was an old man named Michael Finnigan He went fishing in a pinnigan Caught a fish and threw it in again Poor old Michael Finnigan, begin again There was an old man named Michael Finnigan He grew fat and then grew thin again Then he died and had to begin again Poor old Michael Finnigan, begin again (repeat)

Some "surprise rhyme" songs.

Miss Lucy

From Caitlin Shaw (a patticake song, to accompany palm- and thigh-slaps) miss lucy had a steamboat, the steamboat had a bell, miss lucy went to heaven and the steamboat went to-- hello operator, please give me number nine, and if you disconnect me i will chop off your-- behind the 'frigerator, there was a piece of glass, miss lucy sat upon it and she broke her big fat-- ask me no more questions, i'll tell you no more lies, the boys are in the girls' bathroom, zipping down their-- flies are in the meadows, the bees are in their hives, miss lucy and her boyfriend are kissing in the d-a-r-k, d-a-r-k, dark dark dark! the dark is like a movie, a movie's like a show, a show is like a tv set and that is all i know know know! From The Glenn Family miss lucy had a baby, his name was tiny tim. she put him in the bathtub to see if he could swim. *slurp* he drank up all the water, he ate up all the soap, he tried to eat the bathtub but it wouldnt fit down his throat. from here, tiny tim would eat up all the towels, drink up some shampoo, and continue to devour everything that could conceivably be in a bathroom. if we were called in from recess, we would finish off the clap game or jump-roping with "he tried to eat his momma but she only made him choke." there was another, more vulgar ending line that was often recited. Late 1990s see also "Miss Suzy/Hello Operator" From Peter Mork She was called Lulu in the version I knew. I always wondered how she managed to get behind the refrigerator. Massachusetts, 1960s

Miss Mary Mac Mac Mac

From DeAnna Smith miss mary mac mac mac all dressed in black black black with silver buttons buttons buttons all down her back back back i asked my mother mother mother for fifteen cents cents cents to see the elephants elephants elephants jump the fence fence fence they jumped so high high high they touched the sky sky sky and never came back back back 'till the 4th of july-ly-ly Indianapolis, IN 1990s

Miss Suzy/Hello Operator

From Marisa "Mayonnaise" Jane G. Miss Suzy had a baby, she named him Tiny Tim, She put him in the bathtub, to see if he could swim, He drank up all the water, he ate up all the soap, He tried to eat the bathtub, but it wouldn't go down his throat, Miss Suzy called the Doctor, Miss Suzy called a Nurse, Miss Suzy called a Lady, with an Alligator Purse, Measles said the Doctor, Mumps Said the Nurse, Nothing said the lady with the Alligator Purse, [1] Penny for the Doctor, Penny for the Nurse, Quarter for the Lady with the Alligator Purse, Miss Suzy had a steamboat, the steamboat had a bell, Miss Suzy went to heaven, the steamboat went to... Hell-o, operator, give me nmber 9, And if you disconnect me, I'll paddle your... Behind the 'frigerator, there was a piece of glass Miss Suzy sat upon it, and broke her little... Ask me no more questions, tell me no more lies, The boys are in the bathroom, zipping up their... Flies are in the meadow, bees are in the park, Miss Suzy and her boyfriend are kissing in the, D-A-R-K-D-A-R-K-Darkdarkdarkdarkdarkdarkdarkdark [2] Darker than the ocean, Darker than the Sea, Darker than the Underwear my mommy puts on me! [1] "Pizza" was sometimes substituted in for "Nothing." [2] Yes, that exact number of "dark"s and the rhyme accelerated at this point… to breakneck speed that I can only assume is because one needs to get up to that speed in order to say something as momentously stupid as "Darker than the Underwear my mommy puts on me." Conversing with people who grew up in different places, it seems to me there are about 60 million different versions of this song, and in some places there were actually two separate songs, One beginning "Miss Suzy Had a Baby" and One Beginning "Miss Suzy had a Tugboat" and each having it's own ending, but the one I'm submitting here is the one that we used to sing when I was 8 or so, riding our bicycles in circles in the street. Upstate NY, in the Early 90's.

There Once Was A Farmer
From Caitlin Shaw there once was a farmer who lived by a crick and every morning he played with his-- banjo in the moonlight for the lady next door you could tell just by lookin' that she was a-- decent young lady who laid in the grass and when she rolled over you could see her bare-- legs in the moonlight she quacked like a duck she promised the farmer a new way to-- raise a young family the girls would all knit the boys in the backyard be shoveling-- acorns and hayseeds they grow mighty well if you don't like my story you can go straight to-- sleep From Kay Shapero (a "cleaner" relative of the above…)
Sweet Violets
There once was a farmer who took a young miss Out back of the barn where he gave her a -- lecture on horses and chickens and eggs And told her she had the most beautiful -- manners that suited a girl of her charms A girl that he wanted to take in his -- washing and ironing and then if she did They could get married and raise lots of -- Sweet violets! Sweeter than the roses! Covered all over from head to toe Covered all over with sweet, sweet violets! There was another verse starting with: The girl told the farmer that he'd better stop And if he didn't then she'd call a -- Taxi but I forget the rest. Contributed by Em Donovan There once was a farmer who took a young miss Out back of the barn where he gave her a -- lecture on horses and chickens and eggs And told her she had the most beautiful -- manners that suited a girl of her charms A girl that he wanted to take in his -- washing and ironing and then if she did They could get married and raise lots of -- Sweet violets! Sweeter than all the roses! Covered all over from head to toe Covered all over with sweet, sweet violets! The girl told the farmer that he'd better stop She called her father and he called a-- Taxi and got there before very long. Some one was treating his little girl-- right for a change and that's why he said if you marry her son you're better off-- Single for it's always been my belief' marriage will bring a man nothing but-- Sweet violets! Sweeter than all the roses! Covered all over from head to toe Covered all over with sweet, sweet violets! The farmer decided to wed anyway and he started planning for his wedding-- Suit which he purchased for only one buck, Then he found out that he was out of --- Money,  so he was left in the lurch, standing and waiting in front of the -- end of the story which is just as well Because marriage will bring a man nothing but-- Sweet violets! Sweeter than all the roses! Covered all over from head to toe Covered all over with sweet, sweet violets! Early '70s, Florida All of which sparks a dim memory of hearing those last two lines as End of the story which just goes to show All a girl wants from a man is his- and on to the usual chorus. --KS

There's A Man In My Suitcase
From Kit Peters There's man in my suitcase (whoa-whoa-whoa) He steals my underwear (whoa-whoa-whoa) He tries it on for size (every day) Central Illinois, 1980s

There’s a Place in France
From Marisa "Mayonnaise" Jane G. There's a Place in France where the Naked Ladies dance, There’s a hole in the wall where the boys can see it all… That’s as far as we ever got, usually at that point the adults would glare at us, I believe someone may have known the rest of the words… but I never did. Upstate NY, in the Early 90’s.

Little Green Frog
From DeAnna Smith Mmm went the little green frog one day Mmm-mmm went the little green frog Mmm-mmm went the little green frog one day And his eyes went mmm-mmm too Honk-honk went the big red truck one day Split splat went the little green frog His eyes don't go mmm-mmm any more Cause he got licked up by a dog Ruff-ruff Indiananapolis, IN 1990s

Little Miss
-contributed by Fred Miller A little miss she went to piii--- ck a flower She walked in grass up to her aaaa-- nkles. She saw a bird picked up a turrrrr--- key feather It broke her heart she let a farrrrr--- mer have it.

Mary Had A Little Lamb

From Bruce Holloway Mary had a little lamb A little steak, a little ham A little soda topped with fizz Now look how sick Mary is! From Darrel Exline Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall, Hickory Dickory Doc. Mary had a little lamb, The doctor died of shock! From Charlie Kellner Mary had an aeroplane In which she loved to frisk Now wasn't she a silly girl Her little * From Mitch Marmel Mary had a little lamb She also had a duck She put them on the windowsill To see if they would fu-fu-fall off. From J. M. A. Guthrie Mary had a little sheep And with this sheep did Mary sleep. The sheep turned out to be a ram And Mary had a little lamb. From Cindy Ruth Mary had a little lamb Her father shot it dead Now Mary takes that lamb to school Between two hunks of bread From Rachel Force Mary had a little lamb She kept it in the closet And every time she opened the door It left a little deposit. From Scott Jacob Loehr Mary had a little lamb, Little lamb, little lamb, Mary had a little lamb, The doctor was suprised. Irving, Texas, elementary school 1966-1972. From Jeannee Mckinley Jones Mary had a little car and it was painted red. Everywhere that Mary went, the cops picked up the dead. Texas, 1960's

McDonald's

from Bruce Holloway (To the tune of McDonald's Is Your Kind Of Place) McDonald's is your kind of place, They serve you rattlesnakes, French Fries between your toetoes, Hamburgers up your nose Last time I went there, they fried my underwear McDonald's is your kind of place! (I learned the above before there was a McDonald's anywhere around -- nearest one was about thirty miles away). From Mitch Marmel McDonald's is your kind of place Hamburgers in your face French Fries between your toes Hot pickles up your nose And don't forget their Martian shakes They come from outer space McDonald's is your kind of place. From Kihe Blackeagle McDonald's is your kind of place Hamburgers in your face French fries between your toes Dill pickles up your nose And what about those shakes? Made from polluted lakes! McDwarfle's is your kind of place... From Ziza McDonald's is your kind of place Hamburgers in your face French fries up your nose Dill pickles on your toes McDonald's is your kind of place McDonald's is your kind of place From Kreme McDonald's McDonald's is my kind of place Cheeseburgers in your face French fries up your nose mustard between your toes The last time that I went there they stole (my/person's name) underwear McDonald's is the place for me! From Mr-U McDonald's is your kind of place, They serve you rattlesnakes, They throw them in your face. McDonald's is your kind of place, French Fries between your toes, Ketchup up your nose. McDonald's is your kind of place, I want my money back, Before I have a heart - attack From José Johnson McDonald's is your kind of place They serve you rattlesnakes French fries between your toes Hamburgers up your nose The last time that I was there They served my underwear They served it medium rare I told them I didn't care (it was my dirty pair) California, 1970s

Mister Postman
From Kit Peters Mister postman do your duty Here comes Miss American Beauty She can do the pom-pom, she can do the splits she can do anything to make you miss! Central Illinois, 1980s A local variant (Los Angeles) I overheard in the early 90s began with "Postman, Postman," and ended ended with "most of all she can kiss, kiss, kiss." IIRC, this was used as a jumprope counting rhyme. -Kay

My Country's Tired Of Me

-collected by Joe Bethancourt Tune: "My Country 'Tis Of Thee" My country's tired of me, I'm going to Germany To see the King His name is Donald Duck, he drives a garbage truck From every mountain side, let garbage fling! From Margaret Middleton ..I'm going to Germany, to serve the king. I'll serve him sauerkraut, with weenies sticking out, And we will all rejoice and shout: HOTSY-TOTSY, HE'S A NAZI!

My Grandpa

contributed by "Botskutti" Now my grandpa, he was by far A dreadful fat old liar "It's cold in the river tonight," he said, As he sat upon the fire. Til my old grandma came along And hit him with the ladle. "There's another egg been cracked," she laughed As she set him on the table. Doodle oo looly tum tiddly oodly iddly um. I loved a rabbit's daughter, And she fed me on pots of tea Made out of boiling water.

My Doggie
From Ron McKenzie My doggie lies over the ocean My doggie lies over the sea My doggie lies over the ocean Oh where is my doggie to me? With his tail cut short and his ears cut long Oh where oh where can he be? My doggie lies over the ocean Please bring back my doggie to me. (as a little kid, I thought this was the saddest song in the world) circa 1940s - early 1950s Norfolk Nebraska

National Embalming School
from David Paktor (Tune of "O Tannenbaum") [ We live for you, we die for you, National Embalming school ] x2 When you die, all stiff and cold, they will lay you in a hole, We live for you, we die for you, National Embalming school. Summer day camp, Essex County New Jersey, late 1950s

Oh, Dear What Can The Matter Be?
From Joe Raftery ttto "Oh, Dear What Can The Matter Be" as sung in Dublin, (Ireland) mid 60's Oh dear what can the matter be three old ladies stuck in the lavatory they were there from Monday to Saturday nobody knew they were there

Ol' Lady Leerie
-collected by Laura Ross Tune: Chicago Fire song Late last night while we were all in bed Ol' Lady Leerie lit a lantern in her shed And when the cow kicked it over She winked her eye and said, It's gonna be a hot time in the ol' town tonight! FIRE! FIRE! FIRE! FIRE! Pour on water! Pour on water! Save my children! Save my children! Jump, lady! Jump! Ker-splat!